Lost in translation

I know no one even reads the once exciting croquet blog anymore, but oh well. I was laughing reading the previous post which attempted to rally people to get out in the yard and craft an epic croquet field.

Turns out instead of focusing on fixing the course, I tricked Jumpy into making a garden. A garden that as of now will only cause more stress upon Jumpy's fragile psyche. A garden in size and scope could easily conquer and consume weaker humans to attempt to quench its unending need to grow.

Oh yeah, in croquet related news, I won last night. Quite handily I might add. All who came against me were crushed under the weight of my skill. My mallet became fear machine made of brilliant light. Where ever Red ball went, so did hope and laughter flee. My enemies, my enemies were impaled on the single stake in the center of the English style pitch. The screams do not haunt me, they fill my heart with joy.

Help Rebuild the Course!

As anyone that has been out on Jumpy's course knows, its not exactly the USCA standard course. Yes, we all know it has a few bumps, bare spots, and lets not forget the aerial gymnastic causing debris.

Jumpy and I took the initiative today by beginning to fill in some of the more notorious game-wrecking holes. As much as we both love flat grass, we do need help. Nows your chance to help out! Manual labor, bags of sand, dirt, etc. are all of need. So bring your resources for the spring season!

Godzilla is born....

So Jumpy and I bravely set up the course today and played, what were the results you ask? Let me tell you a story for a better explanation.....

So we all know the Godzilla movies, a giant lizard runs around destroying Tokyo with some weird Japanese back plot going on. But how did Godzilla come about? Well my friends, he was a result of the Nuclear Age. The consequence of Man abusing the earth, of creating disharmony.

If you hadn't noticed, the last seasons I too have gone through this same abuse. Today however, Jumpy's course that is the proverbial Tokyo came to witness the awesome and destructive power that is I unleashed. I jumped ahead with one ball, while another lagged behind. As normal, Jumpy soon overtook me, posting a ball while both of mine were languishing. However, as Jumpy became fat from his spoils, the ocean churned. Rising from the water was the apocalyptic force that became the Red and Yellow balls, spreading fire, laser blasts, and terror in their wake. True to form the Japanese subplot kicked in, and Miyuki stopped us because the dogs had yet again had another fight, "He was biting him for like 5 minutes." This couldn't stop what happens every time though, Godzilla destroys the city, and I beat Jumpy.

I'll definitely have a awesome monster name and shirt for myself the next time we play.

p.s. there will be a meeting to discuss the future of the club soon.

Fear of the Cold

Aside from this sentence, there will be no mention of the fact that the last post was before the bougioses party; noone will broach the truth that we have not played a game in over three months, and it will be forgotten (for now) that some of us are spastic when playing Wii Sports.

We are beset in contraversy. The cold chills our passion for the game. We have become weak, our will brittle. We pout at the weather, our hearts fickle in their desire for the game. Our game is being taken from us. Not by threat of dissolved liberty; Not by force of conquestatorial invasion; Not by disease or by misfortune. No, our game is taken from us only by us. And why? What harm could possibly fall upon us? Our fear of the cold cripples us. We should not allow it. We shall not allow the cold to shatter our resolve. Quite the contrary, we should rather offer to the cold our resolve so that it should freeze in unwavering desire to continue to play! I say to you all, tonight we shall Play!

Bourgeois!!

We need to codify the bourgeois party. It has been rumored and suggested that the 21st of October be the day.

A note on booze to be had: Obviously Gin & Tonic is out of season, as are the Blonde Heffeweizens. Wine is certainly be appropriate, as ought to be a selection of Ales, Stouts, and the hoppier of the Pilsners, along with any of the seasonal beers, but should be served in pint glasses rather than bottles (fearing impropriety). Whomever brings Brandy or Cognac will have to also bring his or her own snifter and would ideally also bring a Cigar.

Comments, cocktail and hours devours suggestions, corrections, or requests, Please.

Bourg?

We played a game on saturday:

Players: Annie, Jumpy, Kathleen, Luke, Morris, Todd
winner: Jumpy, Luke, Morris, Todd, Annie, Kathleen

But anyway, is anyone still interested in the Bourg. Party? How about in 2 weeks? Anyone? Anyone?

OU/TX Weekend?

Is anyone going to be in town this weekend? Just wondering.

New Games

Last nights game clocked in in a mere 4 hours, who was left standing? Why, it was Miyuki, who won the entire thing. The Association is also currently reviewing the rules concerning game-aiding gloves.

09/18/06
Game 1: Jumpy, Miyuki, Morris, Satiko
winner(s): Jumpy, Miyuki, Satiko, Morris

There are also 3 other games that werent ever posted, or recorded as far as I know. I can i think I can remember them though.

Expanding the Empire

Before my departure, I had began contemplating and talking about why wasn't croquet popular anymore? Seriously, not only us, but most people that play seem to enjoy themselves. You dont exactly move a lot, but that doesn't hinder the videogame, television, or movie industry. Oh, you need space? Most places where people live have things called "parks", or even better "soccer fields". And the chief question, why in the world is croquet far less popular than its far less exciting, even less movement (carts), and more space hungry cousin, golf?

The popularity of golf is a strange thing when wondering why croquet fell out, and golf has remained in. The expanse golf courses take up is it redundant to say could support more than a few croquet courses. To add insult to injury, people that will spend a few hundred dollars on golf equipment, TIME, tournements, clothing, etc. generally try to hide their laughter when they are invited to a croquet match.

The above may have been more of a ramble, but I'm trying to bring in a bigger point. At certain times, at the old course and the new one, we have seen levels of interest in croquet that are larger than our 6 person capacity. As talked about before, this is both a boon and a bane. Its good becuase there is a wider interest in play than six people, its also bad becuase it creates the headache of "who gets to play". With five (maybe four, eh) "veteran" or "regular" players, its not exactly good for expansion when only one extra person can join a game. And as before it seems we go from periods of feast to famine, probably as a result of our restrictive nature. So here is not so much a following proposal, but something we have talked about many times. Its a call to action, and one that means more than just a single driven field operator can manage. Its going to require a certain, albeit, small time commitment (you can watch one less episode of The Daily Show a week I promise).

Basically, this is a call for actual expansion of Our Noble Club. I think with some recruitment it could be done fairly easily. At the onset, develop a roster of committed players. The divide this group into 2 (or even 3!) divisions. There would be the allowance of interdivision play, and while your score would be be counted in your percentage, each player has only be ranked in his respective division. At the end of a season, you have the interdivision playoffs and championship. Each division can decide if they want to play 9 wicket double diamond, or 6 wicket, or both. The real key is for each division to create a schedule that its members can play. The beauty of 2 or more divisions is that schedules for players could be more flexible.

Now heres the crazy part, instead of being locked on Jumpy's course, most of the division play would likely happen on the North Oval, the soccerfields, a park, where ever. Each division has a "captain" so to speak that is in charge of recording and calculating games. I haven't driven around to check, but I'm sure theres a at least semi lighted flat feild somewhere for night play (the presumed most acceptable time). Now of course, this would cut into drinking, but Im not advocating abandoning our normal play. Im merely advocating that we actually put words into action, and expand. The details can be worked out and worried about later, what really needs to happen is dedication to pull this off. Dedication my friends, is what has kept us playing for over a year.

Start seeing who would play, hopefully we will be surprized at the number of people ready to do something different on their free time.

Surprise Upsets

Season 4 - Game 7 :: 7/09/06
Players: John, Laura, Mark, Todd, Sam
Winner: Laura, Mark, John, Sam, Todd

Season 4 - Game 8 :: 7/09/06
Players: John, Jumpy, Laura, Mark, Todd, Sam
Winner: John, Mark, Jumpy, Sam, Todd, Laura

Please make any corrections in comments. And don't says things like "Jumpy, I got fifth the second game." I'll make any necessary corrections in the post.

Croquet Pitches, People

Go to this site, use ctrl + f, type "croquet." The campus is on I44 near the NW 10th St exit. I will go check it out. I drive by it on my way to work.

There is also purportedly a croquet pitch mentioned in this Golf Course News article, which is actually here.

19 Wickets

God bless Google video. Watch and be amazed.

First of Games on the First of July

Heres the results of the two games we played on Saturday. If you notice I won, which means I'll be retiring at the top, see you around mortals.

07-01-06
Season 4 - Game 5 :: 07/01/06
Players: Abby, Jake, Jumpy, Mark, Morris, Todd (1 Ball)
Winner: Jumpy, Jake, Mark, Todd, Abby, Morris

Season 4 - Game 6 :: 07/01/06
Players: Jumpy, Mark, Miyuki, Morris (1 Ball)
Winner: Morris, Jumpy, Mark, Miyuki

Also, Miyuki is actually pretty good for someone with playing three games ever, and no golf experience. But theres also the issue a few times we're running into about scheduling a game with only six players, and not going over. We need to figure some sort of timed system or something about where we could have six people in a game, but also allow people to be invited to come over.

Notation, Victory Libations, Duel

Season 4 - Game 4 :: 6/30/06
Players:- Alison, Jumpy, Keaton, Mark, Morris, Todd.
Winner: Jumpy, Todd, Mark, Morris, Keaton, Alison.


Lets keep this notation going, it will be a lot easier to keep track of how many games we have in the Season; since Morris isn't here to keep us in check all the time anymore.

Jumpy and Todd still need to play a Season3 Championship Game. Morris and Jumpy still need to get Todd his Victory Libation. While we're at it, we may as well purchase the Season 3 bottle as well.

Todd had better bring his "A" game.

Season 4 Games

Season 4 - Game 1 :: 06/21/06
Players: Jake, Jumpy, Todd (2 Ball)
Winner: Jake, Jumpy, Jumpy, Todd, Jake, Todd

Season 4 - Game 2 :: 06/23/06
Players: Jake, Jess, Mark, Morris, Todd (1 Ball)
Winner: Jake, Mark, Todd, Morris, Jess

Season 4 - Game 3 :: 06/23/06
Players: Jumpy, Morris, Todd (2 Ball)
Winner: Jumpy, Todd, Todd, Morris, Morris, Jumpy

There ya go.

Season 3 Ends

I calculated the standings for Season 3, they are pretty dismal. I first calculated with 18 games since 2 games were in question on eligibility, I talked to Todd and then decided these games should not count. If anyone disagrees let me know, although it does not effect anything in this season. Also a congratulations to everyone for getting a season finished so quickly, its been really enjoyable watching Jumpy win everything......ever.

Jake: 41/48= 85.42% (8/20=40%)
Jumpy: 101/108= 93.5% (18/20=90%)
Mark: 48/84= 57.14% (14/20=70%)
Morris: 47.5/84= 56.55% (14/20=70%)
Todd: 69/114= 60.53% (19/20=95%)

If you notice Jumpy is clearly the leader. Jake would technically be in second, but he has only 40% standing. It seems that weekend games are difficult for Jake to make, does that matter? So either its a Jumpy-Todd final, or Todd and Jake play a semi-final to get to Jumpy. Personally, I feel it should be a Jumpy-Todd final.

New Games

Saturdays games.... actually a nice return to the old school double bottle of Black Swan days...

06-17-06

Game 1: Clint, J-Doh, Jumpy, Mark, Morris, Todd (1 Ball)
winner: Jumpy, Mark, Morris, J-Doh, Todd, Clint

Game 2: J-Doh, Jumpy, Mark, Morris
winner: Jumpy, J-Doh, Mark, Morris

I'll, as well as anyone else who wishes, need to calculate that I think we may be in a new season. Although, we did play these games as Association. Is that something new?

Square Heads, USCA Compliance

The new set came in Monday, 6-11-06 and we played its maiden games.

Below are the results of the games played this week, and are posted here based on my recollection. Please comment and post corrections if needed:

6-11-06
Game 1: Jake, Jumpy, Mark, Todd (1-ball)
winner: Jake, Todd, Jumpy, Mark

Game 2: Jake, Jumpy, Mark, Todd (1-ball)
winner: Jake, Jumpy, Todd, Mark

6-13-06
Game 1: Mark, Jumpy, Todd (2-ball)
winner: Jumpy, Todd, Jumpy, Todd, Mark , Mark

Game 2: Mark, Jumpy, Todd (2-ball)
winner: Jumpy, Todd, Jumpy, Todd, Mark, Mark

The set meets USCA specifications, and has radically changed the dynamics of the games. We have each voiced some frustration with the USCA wicket width, but since this first game we have all adapted our play and are improving our accuracy. Some have made the rather important point that friendly games will be less inviting with this new set. Novice players will not likely pass through more that the 3rd or 4th wickets, and will likely not find it an enjoyable experience overall.

While I do not think it necessary to do for competition games, social games may want to be played with either the old wickets or the old balls. The new wickets are just under 1 and 1/4 the width of the old balls. The old wickets are just over 1 and 1/2 the width of the new balls.

Wicket Debate

So we have the new set, which keeps reminding me of being in the Giant World of Super Mario Bros. 3. The mallets are giant, the turning stakes are giant. Its either a nice croquet set, or professional vampire hunting gear. Though with a very festive killing spike. And the length of the spike is a great modification for todays more chunky American draculas!

Anyway, we have several options about how or if to deal with the new, smaller wickets. First off, yes, we would get used to them in time. This would also probably (hopefully) greatly reduce the amount of time its taking to play one stupid, long, and boring game. But their are other issues.

The biggest problem with getting used to the small wickets is that we will be essentially walling ourselves off from ever inviting non-regular players for a game. Someone would probably get pretty bored when they came out for a friendly game and never got past the third wicket. For championships or whatnot, bring out the small hoops and big balls. Although the thought of watching a three hour long champ game is more fun than making out with Todd's gf Abby. Which I do quite frequently.

So anyway, we could use bigger wickets, smaller balls, etc., whatever. Debate, staaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!

Weekend Games

06-09-06
Game 1- Jeff, Jumpy, Lori, Luke, Morris, Todd (1 Ball)
winner: Jumpy, Luke, Morris, Jeff, Todd, Lori

Game 2- Jumpy, Morris, Todd (2 Ball)
winner: Jumpy, Todd, Todd, Jumpy, Morris, Morris

06-10-06
Game 1- Jumpy, Morris, Todd (2 Ball)
winner: Jumpy, Jumpy, Todd, Todd, Morris, Morris

Game 2- Jumpy, Morris, Todd (2 Ball)
winner: Jumpy, Morris, Jumpy, Todd, Morris, Todd

The new set should be coming in someday.....unless Todd is just ripping us off.